


I have tons of regrets (and you were never one)

by winewinerainrain



Category: She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018)
Genre: Adora-centric (She-Ra), Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/F, High School, Time Travel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-07
Updated: 2020-09-07
Packaged: 2021-03-06 18:01:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,200
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26333071
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/winewinerainrain/pseuds/winewinerainrain
Summary: There were 5 times Adora chose to change something when she walked through time.There were 5 times she didn't.--a personal fic
Relationships: Adora/Catra (She-Ra)
Kudos: 70





	I have tons of regrets (and you were never one)

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys! so uh, this is not beta read and yes it is absolutely shitty because it's about me. I mean, I based it off my life and how I met my girlfriend (except the last part because we're not married... yet ;>) I hope you enjoy it even if it's a disappointing fic!

There were 5 times Adora chose to change something when she walked through time.

There were 5 times she didn't.  
_

Adora was 26 when she first weaved her way through time.

She looks at herself in the mirror, very young and naive. She has a big scab in her knee and a few scratches and bruises here and there. Her hair was tied up in a tight pony tail because her hair was so thin that she needed smaller elastics than hairbands.

It almost made her forget why she was here, standing in her family's room. The big bed beside the window wasn't as worn out than she last remembered, her shelf filled with barbie dolls doesn't look as dusty as when she left them before, and the TV playing the usual afternoon shows was still working.

Adora sits down on the stool. She looked at her Dad's Toshiba laptop which was playing Taylor Swift and Katy Perry songs, it was nostalgic. There was a knock on the door and there she saw her grandmother, still strong enough to lift a basket of clothes. Razz offered her lunch to which Adora nodded to.

The warm feeling of the noon sun bathing Adora in their living room felt comforting and nostalgic. She wanted to breathe it all in before she leaves for another timeline to fix.

Then the telephone rings. It was the call she was waiting for.

On the other line, she hears Glimmer sobbing and crying, saying that she'll be moving away. Adora smiled softly to herself, mentally reprimanding younger Adora.

"I'm so sorry Adora," Glimmer stifled a sob, "We can't-" she was cut off with her own cries, "I'm so sorry that we can't be classmates next year," she says as she continues crying.

"Hey, hey, Glimmer, it's okay. We'll still meet each other, I'll ask Mama to drive me there to visit you every summer."

Glimmer seemed to calm down, "I thought you were going to be mad."

I was, she thinks.

"I'm not."

And then the world changes again, she won't be facing a resentful childhood friend when she transfers schools.

_

Adora found herself curled up in a ball. She can feel the dampness of her cheeks and wetness of her eyes.

She chuckles when she realized that fighting against Mara's ideals were futile. She was just a young child back then, of course she won't understand.

But then this misunderstanding drew a big wedge between them.

Adora and her brother, Adam, moved to her grandma's house. She was happy since she and Glimmer will finally be classmates again, but she couldn't help but feel lonely when Mara said she won't be able to live with them.

Mara has to work in their hometown and whenever she visits her kids and husband, Adora always tries not to interact with her mother.

Maybe because she wanted to stop crying whenever she has trouble sleeping or maybe because she hated her mother for not staying.

But Adora knows the answer.

She doesn't want to get attached so that it won't hurt as much when she leaves again.

So when Adora confronted her mother when she was 10, Mara couldn't help but yell at her daughter.

Adora has never been shouted at by her mother.

So here she is, curled up in a ball. She could hear her mother and father talking but she tried to drown it away.

Adora was a selfish kid.

But when Mara approached her with the gentle tone she grew up to, she let her mother hug her instead of shutting Mara out of her life.  
_

It was a petty mistake, but it was something that haunted Adora in her sleep. She couldn't help it.

She stood at the council's office with a face filled with uncertain determination. Adora remembered this time of her life when she was full of herself and yet scared of everything. Her pride was like her father's, although Adora never wanted it.

Adora sees a long-time friend and foe. She knows he'll be running for student council presidency and she doesn't want to fight him. He has been a great friend and rival to Adora, even though she barely remembers him in the future.

He looked at her a little surprised, but soon acknowledged her presence. He asked what her plans were to which she responded with a shake of her head.

When Adora faced the teacher, she returned the certificate of candidacy blank.

"I don't want to run."

The next school year, everything changed. She did come home to meet her father's disappointed face and even called her weak, but she stood there with a determined resolve.  
_

Adora entered the contest room and she could barely feel her legs. Even though she knows she could win this contest with her present knowledge, the fact that years ago she lost because of her own uncertainty, made her feel nervous.

She knows what is coming and it scares her so much.

Her 6th grade self could never decide on the stand she'll put in her article, although she knew where she sides with.

Her uncertainty showed in her paper.

But right now, Adora wrote what her child self would. She wrote what she thinks is right, she wrote what she sees is just.

Adora leaves the room with a smile plastered to her face. She knows she will lose, but she will gladly take it as a victory.

She didn't regret a word she wrote.  
_

Being put in a class that practices her assumed "passion" was fun, she remembers.

But then she also remembered how she regretted shutting everyone away, including her friends.

Everything took a big toll on her during that time of the year and her breakdowns were always untimely.

Adora was always looked up to as a responsible and healthy student. That's why everyone kept their distance when she became ice cold.

She called it her emo phase before.

She regretted everything that transpired when she walked in the room. She regretted it all.

Adora takes in a deep breath and walks in.

This time, she didn't tell Bow to fuck off, she didn't yell at her classmates, and most importantly, she didn't tell Glimmer that she was the worst friend to ever exist.  
_

She didn't step in to fix something. Because she decided not to fix it at all.

Adora went back in time to when she was in 7th grade, completely naïve and prone to harm. She was easily fooled. She was easily torn down.

But all of those made her strong. Taking all of those away from her will cause a bad outcome in the future.

She didn't fix anything this time, she lets it be.

Adora almost couldn't contain herself when she saw her by the classroom window.

The way her mismatched eyes watched intently at her laptop, the way she warily looked around when Bow and Glimmer peeked inside the foreign classroom to visit a friend, her piercing stare on Adora when she saw her staring at her, everything was too mesmerizing.

Catra was too mesmerizing.

Then Adora pretended to look at the laptop and said, "That's a good show."

Catra nods.

Adora didn't dare to change anything.  
_

Adora, Bow, and Glimmer stopped by a small shop to eat in since it was raining very hard.

That's when she sees Scorpia, an elementary friend, with Catra.

She shouldn't be surprised. This happened before. But she couldn't help herself when Adora already knew Catra too much, when Adora unveiled her soul to her, when Adora happily spent the rest of her life with Catra.

Adora wanted to tell her everything.

But she didn't change anything.

Instead she smiles at Catra to which she kindly smiled back to.

"How's the special class Scorp?" Adora asks.

Scorpia grunts, "Stressful, but we're managing, right Catra?"

Catra nods in agreement.

"Well, enough about school stuff," Adora eats a spoonful of porridge and swallows, "Recommend me some shows to watch."

Catra tried not to show it, but Adora saw how she beamed.  
_

Adora knows this part too, but she never managed to enjoy it.

Hearing her laughter and seeing her adorable smiles, Adora keeps on swooning. How could Catra be this cute? Of course, Adora has noticed it and said it many times before, but everytime Catra makes a reaction, it feels new.

They are now gathered to help with the school paper and Adora tries her best to focus on what she needs to do, not on Catra’s beautiful eyes and god-like features. Gods, she is so smitten.

They haven’t really talked. Adora brings out a pack of candies her brother brought her and gave them to the writing crew with her. She gets one and gives it to Catra.

“No, I’m okay,” Catra says timidly.

“C’mon, there’s a lot for everyone,” Adora smiles at her.

Adora knew this memory, but she never dared to change anything.  
_

Even though her present self knows how to write a news article properly, she pretended to not know how. Why? Because she doesn’t want to change this memory when Catra helped her out.

“I am so sorry for the trouble,” Adora says shyly.

“Pff, don’t sweat it, besides I owe you one with the candy,” Catra smiles, her fangs showing a little.

It was getting late, she could feel her phone vibrating, knowing it’s her father about to scold her where she was. She picks it up and excuses herself, and told her father that she was helping with the school paper.

“Were you scolded?” Catra asks when Adora sits back at the chair.

“Yeah.”

Catra hums as a response and brings her laptop out. This is the part when Catra recommends her a good manga and reads it with her touch-screen ultra bendable laptop. Although she knew what was coming, she never dared to change anything.

When they walked within the empty roads of the school and stars casted above the sky, Adora didn’t dare to hold Catra’s hands. Even though she has seen Catra within the darkness of the nights in this very school many times, seeing it again for the first time struck Adora like a lightning.

She was too captivating.

Adora bids her goodbye as her father fetches her. The scolding didn’t hurt her as much as it hurted her before, all she could remember was Catra’s small smiles and kind touches.

\---

When Catra confessed to Adora underneath the starry sky, Adora acted like a complete idiot being proposed to.

Adora just wanted to say “Yes” as if Catra was asking her to be her girlfriend. To be honest, Adora badly wanted to change this memory into a more romantic set up, not with her answering all flustered and stammering, and also close to crying.

But Adora doesn’t want to.

This precious memory will remain untouched, whatever happens.

From Adora’s memory, that day didn’t go as planned. Catra was about to join her to be a judge in an elementary school writing competition, along with a senior. But then, Catra’s guardians have forbidden her to come. Adora wanted to change that part too, but if that happened, she’s sure that the following events will change.

She remembered Catra chatting her an unfinished question.

Adora knew what it was.

Apparently, they had to do some set-ups inside the school’s writing crew’s work room, so they stayed late with some seniors.

That’s why when Catra ignores Adora’s questions on what Catra promised to tell her earlier that morning, she lets it be. When Catra tries to dodge Adora’s looks, she lets it be. When Catra asks her to come outside the room even if it was already nightfall, she lets it be. When Catra brought her to their secret place and asked Adora to hug her, Adora let it be.

Because Adora knows what happens next.

“Would it be weird if I say I’m starting to fall in love with you?”

Adora lets herself be the stammering mess she is.

“Would it be weird if I say I am too?” Adora answers.

\---

Adora is back to her present time.

She regretted a lot of things she did in the past and changing major mistakes in her life feels like she is being irresponsible. But then Adora couldn’t explain why she had to do it. She knows she should be owning up to the mistakes she made, accepting its consequences, but she feels it is for the greater good. She wants to undo the pain she had inflicted on people. The pain she inflicted on herself.

“So, did you punch the baby me? Or gave her any life lessons?” Catra asks, now 27.

“First of all, no, I would never punch you. Second, I didn’t give her any “life lessons” you told me to do,” Adora says with a roll of her eyes to which Catra chuckles at.

“Aww, you’re so mean babe.”

“Oh my god, stop calling me babe, we’re literally married!”

Adora regretted a lot of things in the past, but Catra is the only one thing that made her feel that everything she experienced was worth it.


End file.
